Adulthood comes with a lot of exciting things and changing in your life. As you cross your 20’s leaving your teenage behind all the khandan and even you starts to consider about you getting engaged and finally settling down for good.
Be it with your bachpan ka crush or college girlfriend/boyfriend or through just a random rishtey karane wali aunty 😀 If you think it makes a difference how you choose the girl or guy , believe me it does not 😀
People say marriage is difficult and you have to be ready before you get married. But dude , no one ever warns you before getting engaged. 😯 Every one thinks its all roses and dinners and surprises 😀 but once you get a ring on that finger of yours you enter a world no one ever warned you about 😀
So let me try to help a little bit 😀
1. The Communication
When you are married you both live together and that makes it quite easy to get to know each other. You can talk about everything and anything at any time. However , in the engagement period you basically do not know what is going on in another’s life . You mostly are connected with a cellphone or a computer screen (even harder when it is a long distance thing). They do not interpret your feelings accurately enough .
2. The thoughts and opinions
If you are a person who is very certain about their thoughts and principles, you get to change big time. Many times you will have to calm your thoughts down and tell your self
Although with good understanding you can share them with your partner but still there will be more times when some duur ka rishtedaar tries to trigger the flood of your opinions 😀 and then do not approve them :/
3. Losing creativity
You would have never realized how many occasions and festivals we have in one year until you get engaged. New years , birthdays, Eids , engagement anniversaries and even baat pakki anniversaries and what not 😀 Every thing comes just after another. You start losing the ideas of being creative. Of course you can not surprise a person the same as before. You can not give things you have already given before. It starts driving you crazy. And every time the special date arrives you just hook on to you computer trying to find another new idea 😀
4. The kharcha issues
It does not matter if you are the guy or the girl here. The issue works both ways. When you love someone you want to make them feel special (no matter how much energy it drains out of you :D) and if you are still a student or at the beginning of a new job it gets quite difficult for you to manage and turn your dreams and ideas into reality. You wouldn’t want to ask your parents for those little treats. So it’s always better to have an extra job or to earn some extra money. So you can make them feel great 🙂
5. Killing the ego
Honestly , this is the best thing the engagement phase does to you. It helps kill your ego and prepares you for the life you are about to start. The life in which you will have to sacrifice a lot of things and ego is the basic one of them all. It will irritate you at first but soon you realize that it only is making you a better and humble person , not only with your partner but overall.
Do you think you are ready to enter the phase of putting a ring on it ? 😀 Good luck if you do 🙂
by: Zehra A Ghaffar (A self proclaimed writer)