Funniest Things Taught In A Pakistani Madrisa

Madrisa is (supposed to be) a place where basic Islamic teachings and Qura’n is taught to children. Unfortunately, in our country madrisa is more of a factory which is producing illiterate people who do nothing but hold grudges against people from other sects and religions.

These kind of things happen when you send your intelligent kids to med schools or engineering universities and the dumbest kid is sent to a madrisa to become a Hafiz, Imam masjid or alim e deen.

Being a Muslim it is very tough to defend yourself when these so called religious figures preach hatred and bias against other human beings and tell you dumb stories in the name of Shariat. It’s 2016, the era of Twitter and Facebook, and all their non-sense becomes a trending topic in no time.

I was going through my Twitter timeline when I saw these tweets. And no wonder, I can relate to most of them. These are exactly the teachings of Mullahs (NOT ISLAM). Just read them, have a good laugh and then think how we’ve made our religion a joke.



Today, when Islam is on the hit list of every troll, we have to ask ourselves this question; Who should we follow? Quran (the source of all knowledge) or a Mullah?


Em Zehra Bukhari

Esmat Zehra Bukhari is a freelance writer based in Sharjah. She is active on social media and can be reached on Twitter @ExmatBukhari

2 thoughts on “Funniest Things Taught In A Pakistani Madrisa

  • January 6, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    First of all, I just wanna laugh. 😀

    Secondly, (Well, I don’t know who Irsha Malik is) she is making fun of Madrassahs just on the basis of some tweets. I wish I could tag her in this post. The thing is that we Pakistanis have a very bad habit of poking our nose in the matters we don’t understand. I don’t think she would have ever been to any madrassah in her life.
    I’ve been a student of a madrassah and I exactly know what things are taught there and what not.
    I know there are some things that are not being taught right and there are some issues regarding preaching hatred. But you can’t just generalize it to every madrassah.

    She said: “… madrisa is more of a factory which is producing illiterate people…”. If that’s the case then what about all the people (the Imams and Mo’azzins) who are serving in our Mosques on very low wages. If they are so illiterate in your point of view, then why do you call them when some family member of yours passes away. Yes, because you don’t know what to do. People don’t know how to give bath to a Mayyat. People don’t know how to lead Janazah prayer. So, who’s the illiterate now? The “Mullah” or the so-called “Literate” from some university.
    If we don’t like them then I think we should ask them to leave the mosque and someone “Literate” should get the hold of the mosque and get all the administrative matters in his hands… Going to mosque at fajr to say Azan, leading five prayers. Then we’ll see what happens. (Talking is more easier than doing things).

    Talking about holding grudges against people from other sects and religions….you can’t just superimpose the doings of some people on the overall society. If one person does bad things in a family you don’t say the whole family is wrong. If you see some madrassahs teaching wrong things, you can’t make it general for all.

    And now talking about the dumbest kid being sent to a madrisa to become a Hafiz, Imam masjid or alim e deen. I mean do you really think that a Hafiz e Quran is a dumb person, that an Alim e Deen is dumb person…
    Well I’m not saying that everyone is a pious person but you can’t just simply blame the whole. C’mon Irsha Malik. Please don’t hold grudges while you are teaching others to not hold grudges.

    And my question is why is it difficult to defend being a Muslim? I mean are you afraid of someone or are you living in a non-muslim country? If you really think that you need to defend yourself being a Muslim, then I suggest you should revive your Iman.

    I need clarification on what you are calling “dumb stories”.

    And about “These are exactly the teachings of Mullahs (NOT ISLAM).”, where is the reference in the tweet which claims that these are the teaching of some Mullah. The problem is that there are a lot of propaganda being made against Islam and some “Illiterate” people fall prey to those propaganda and start blaming “Mullahs” for that.

    I think you are a literate person Irsha Malik, please understand things and just stop spitting on Mullahs.

    My Opinion: The thing is that most people are just afraid of ISLAM not Mullahs. Their real problem is Islam not mullahs. They just wanna abuse Islam but you can’t, so they just abuse and spit their frustration on Mullahs.


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